May 4th, 2007 by Conductor
Some days, I hate people.
Not all people mind you. Sleeping babies are cool.
Unfortunately, my users are not sleeping babies. At least not literally.
Anyway, this is about vibrating. Vibrating Blackberries that is. For brevity, I’ll refer to Blackberries as BB’s.
Here’s the breakdown:
- User calls the Helpdesk, reports their BB doesn’t vibrate, even though they set it to vibrate when they get email.
- Helpdesk advises user to send the device and their passwords down to my group so we can see about getting the vibes back in their BB. (And yes, we have to have the Helpdesk remind the users to provide their BB password. Some of them apparently think we really are psychic or just keep 820 BB passwords committed to memory. They are mistaken. We appear psychic because they do the same dumb things over and over and over, and if we remember a BB password, it’s either really unique, or they break,lose, or just complain about their devices with machine like frequency.)
- We get the BB, test it, and sure enough, it doesn’t vibrate. It’s got the latest firmware, got the DST patch, sends and receives fine, but no vibrate. Ok, we have spares, so we’ll swap the data over to one, then RMA the non buzzin’ BB with the Provider if it’s still under warranty. It is a tedious process, but if we can get it replaced under warranty instead of shelling out a couple hundred bucks…
- Data swap goes smoothly. Slowly because the user has 1994 emails on their device, but smoothly. 1994 is not a record by a long shot for us, but on older devices like the 7250, it’s slow.
- Activated the replacement unit, no issues. Install two pieces of software via download, and it’s good to go so we send it back to the user.
- About 1 hour later, user calls the helpdesk, getting an error on the device he can’t clear. He’s sending it down to us again. Joy…
- Get the device, sure enough, big old error message. Fine. Every now and then a device goes south for unknown reasons. His old device just up and decided not to vibrate anymore. (We choose not to speculate on how much vibration it takes to wear out the vibration function on a blackberry, but feel free to do so yourselves.) So we restore his data to another spare device, activate it, and the same thing happens.
- Fan-Fuckin’-Tastic! Ok, let’s try another device. Same result. Different vendor? Nope, Same error. How about a device normally reserved for partners? Works like a charm, of course. He’s not getting that one. Sorry. Not happening. Call us when you make partner or counsel and we’ll hook you up. Anyway. At this point (actually back at the 2nd device) I realized it’s the data screwing up the show, but there’s 30 sections that could be doing it on their own or pulling some tag team action.
- To give you a sense of how much time has passed, it takes about 25 to 30 minutes to do the data restore to a device, and 10 to 15 to activate the unit. We tried 5 units.
- So, the day is drawing to it’s scheduled end, and I’m annoyed now. So I grab one of the devices, which I had previously wiped and reloaded, and activated it without restoring any of his data. Works fine no errors. I synch it so it pulls down his contacts and notebook, and synchs an in house app we have on all our devices. Still working fine, so it’s not his address book or notebook, or the app data. Looking ok so far, but it’s after 6pm at this point, and the stumpy little union shit that was laying new carpet in the hallway is mixing up some really toxic shit outside our office, presumably to glue the cheap ass carpet or the piece of felt paper they call padding to the floor.
- Anyway, I restore his backed up messages to his device to see if it’ll work with those on and not crash. That worked, I reset the device 3 times to make sure, and it ran fine. So back it went.
- Of course by this time it’s 7:15pm, I’m tired and annoyed. So I walk out of our office, intending to stop by the mailroom on my way out to have them deliver the device. But wait! Stumpy’s there and the way out is blocked. Stumpy, being the small man (literally and figuratively) that he is, provides no fucking help at all besides saying “you were warned” over and over. I was tempted to kick over his bucket of adhesive and inform him that I was not warned that the entire hallway and all the exits would be blocked, just that I might have to step over some equipment on my way out, but decided he’s not worth the damned effort.
- Back at my desk, I call the security desk to see if they can open the door at our end of the hallway, which hadn’t yet be slathered in noxious goo. They said there’s another door, but they have to check and call me back. Yay. But, true to their word they call back in a minute or two, and tell me to walk down the hall to records, where someone will show me the way out. Ok.
- I do so, and one of the records staff shows me the other back door which is in the far corner of their department. News to me and I’ve been there almost 7 years. Anyway, I’m free, I walk up to the evening delivery window of the mailroom to hand off the internal delivery, and go home.
All that because a blackberry didn’t vibrate anymore. I am SO dismantling that damned thing in the morning.
Ok, so like I said I would, I took apart the BB that wouldn’t vibrate. What I found was dust. Lots of compacted dust. So much in fact, that clogged up the mechanism inside the BB that makes it vibrate. Several blasts of canned air later, and it’s vibrating like, well… fill in your own simile. So no need to RMA the thing, and back into inventory it goes. This could have been avoided altogether if people didn’t treat the stock belt holster like some sort of nerd badge of shame, instead of tossing their BB into their pocket or purse like it was something sturdy like house keys or coins.
I’m not even going to go into the user that doesn’t seem to understand that a 19 Gigabyte mail file is why Lotus Notes chokes when you try to close the program. (Around 1Gigabyte is about the largest you want them to be before odd and eventually rather bad things happen.)
So yeah, I hate people sometimes.